Grow the Tree You Got

May 2, 2011
Sturges (Parking Lot Rules) urges parents to "grow the tree you got," in this inspiring advice book. Sturges maintains that it's vital to encourage a child to pursue his or her passionâwhether it's acting, dancing, sports, music, or some other interestâwhile offering support, trust, freedom, and unconditional love. He incorporates tips from other parents, as well as lessons he's learned as the father of two sons, 12 and 18, and draws from his own unusual experiences as an adolescent (his father, the writer/director Preston Sturges, died when he was three, and his mother sent him to a "preventative" drug rehabilitation program when he was 13). The author, with Dalai Lamaesque patience, says parents should treat teens with kindness, always putting the adolescent first (if one is tempted to yell, he advises, whisper instead: "Yelling scares and yelling scars"). He also emphasizes the importance of building new bridges when old bridges fail (e.g., if a child gives up a particular sport or other activity, find a new outlet to share together). Wise, warm, and compassionate in tone and message, Sturges's text offers a range of ways to keep mutual lines of respect and communication open between parent and teen.