Mindful Loving

April 1, 2003
Psychologist Grayson here explains why happiness in relationships lies in the ability of the participants to engage in a spiritual marriage, a theory he established in The New Physics of Love, the audio series on which this book is based. During a lecture Grayson attended on the parallels between new physics and ancient mystical thought, he became convinced that mind, energy and matter intimately connect all humans and all living beings together--a concept he deemed to have great consequence for improving relationships. Most marriages are ego-based and characterized by partners who want gratification, pleasure and security from each other, he says; if our desires are not met, we attempt to change our partner's behavior, which can create a downward spiral of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Grayson believes that conflict will dissipate and marriages will grow when husbands and wives surrender their egos. He describes, for example, how a wife's hostile fantasies towards her husband were a factor in his verbal abuse of her. When the woman began to think of her husband as the man she loved, he stopped attacking her with words. Put into practice, a spiritual marriage requires that unconditional love be given without the expectation of receiving anything in return. Included are ten ways to overcome obstacles to achieving a spiritual marriage, including how to change negative core beliefs, unblock the flow of love and meditate to quiet the mind. Although Grayson is obviously sincere, his focus on unconditional love even in the face of abuse may strike some as unrealistic.