The Coward's Guide to Conflict

February 24, 2003
Ursiny, a mediation coach and former practicing psychologist, readily admits that he's a "coward" when it comes to any kind of conflict. He believes that there are many people like himself who wince at the thought of having an argument or avoid confronting work colleagues. Everyone, regardless of their position at work, can learn to handle conflict more effectively. The benefits, according to Ursiny, are immense and include more self-confidence, less anger, greater self-respect and more intimacy. To help readers learn how to change the way they handle conflict, each chapter opens with a brief case study. The author then uses checklists and exercises designed to teach the reader new ways to handle conflict. Ursiny is clever and readers will recognize and immediately understand his hypothetical situations. For example, the author says that people avoid exercise by focusing on the "pain" of getting up early, taking time, or not being able to sleep later or do other things they enjoy more. The motivated person, on the other hand, focuses on how much better he or she will look and feel and the positive reinforcement that other people will provide. Particularly useful is the chapter on "Avoiding the Top Ten Mistakes Made When Dealing With People." Readers will identify with the irate man whose flight has been canceled. This is a wonderfully engaging book that should easily motivate readers to rethink their behavior and conversations both at work and at home. (Mar.)Forecast:Although Ursiny may not yet be a household name, he should be. Word of mouth and national publicity should lead to strong sales.